«Who´s agenda is it anyway?» - How to be a better coach and leader

Follow me as I discover that who I am as a coach and a leader not at all is who I thought I was after watching a video I made of one of my coaching sessions.

The text includes references to five crucial books and articles to help you evolve as a coach and/or a leader. I write about how I used these “must reads” in my own professional (and personal) journey.

During past years I`ve been watching a popular TV-gameshow called “Who`s line is it anyway?”, starring improv comedians doing improv comedy. Their task during each episode is to, based on a theme they are given, use whatever tools, experiences and skills they have to make the audience and host laugh. They are then scored based on their performance. 

This TV-gameshow came to mind when preparing to record one of my coaching sessions. I wanted to videotape to see what I could improve in my coaching and while setting up I started to feel a bit anxious like I was about to go on stage. The word “agenda” popped out. It was already lying there somewhere in the back of my mind I think. In some of my earlier coaching sessions I had felt something was “off”. I just couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. But after watching the tape I think I see what I was doing wrong. I think I was trying to control the situation too much. Trying too hard to push my own agenda.

This made me compare myself to the improv comedians on the show. When meeting my coachee I am given a theme, and by using whatever tools, experiences and skills I have, I need to make the other person experience, understand, solve or feel something. And for some reason I am “scoring” myself on how well I do. Not by laughs (thank God). But by how well I think I did in the situation. If I feel I gave the coachee some advice that turned out to work, that’s good. If I can’t seem to ask the right questions, that’s not good. Now, I understand that the coachee needs to be the primary contributor in solving their own challenges, in finding motivation, or in helping themselves move forward. But, I`m also there for a reason, right? I too need to feel like I actually did something. So, who`s agenda is it anyway?